McDonalds Robbery

Authors note: Based on Lady Dementias Close Encounters of the Moron Kind. I love your work Lady D! Journal prompt: "You were the only one to see a robbery at McDonalds. Tehe, had fun with this story!"

“’Splain wha I saw? Why, sure officer! Ey c’n do that. Wall, et happened loike this. These real biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig, mean looking fellows came up to that there McDonalds. You know, I never did like McDonalds. They do duuuurrrty thins to their food a’fore it’s served ta ya. Only thin in there I’d trust wood be the ICE cream. Now, you can’t mess up a good ice cream cone. Oh? I’m geetin off track? Sorry bout that, twon’t happen ‘gain. Wall, the one looked bout likes a wookie. You know what a wookie is, dontchya? They’s the big hairy critters on that Star Wars show. Whoo whee! I one episode, I saw Chewbaccy tear a mans, oh sorry, geetin off track gain! T’other man coulda been one o thems Elvis impersonaterers. Had a huuuuge white cape on and slicked back hay-air. He looked loike a motercycler coulda ran inta a wall and his hair would be a helmet! Now, the third guy, he could been a woman, ‘cept fur his beard an moos-stachy.

“Ya wan my throry on why I’m t’only one ta see wha happened? Well, they’s was aliens! Ya know, big uuuuuuuuuggggggguly ones! No, sir, I don’ know what theys be wantin wit a McyDonalds cash machiene or Play Land. Prhaps theys needed them fur some experimenting.

“Hey! Why ya putting those hand cuffer thins on me? I ain’t done nothing! Psycho-actric help? I’m perfectly normal! No! Ya can’t do this to me! I’m a tax payin citizen!”